Thoughts from Divine Mercy in my Soul Diary

May 20, 1937.  When for a whole month I had been enjoying good health, it occurred to me that I did not know which was more pleasing to the Lord – my serving Him in illness or in the robust health for which I had asked Him – and I said to the Lord, “Jesus, do with me as You please,” and Jesus returned me to my previous condition. 1125

Sick? Chronically Ill? Disabled? Homebound?
Just like St. Faustina, you too are pleasing to the Lord. You can serve him, wherever you are. We have a purpose for living and are worthwhile.

April 17 1937 ...If a soul loves God sincerely and is intimately united with Him, then, even though such a soul may be living in the midst of difficult external circumstances, nothing can disturb its interior life; and in the midst of corruption, it can remain pure and unsullied; because the great love of God gives it strength for battle, and God also protects in a special way. 1094  

Hang in there. We have much to be thankful for. Keep your eyes fixed on God.

But my eyes are toward thee, O Lord God; in thee I seek refuge; -Psalm 141:8
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever. -Psalm 73:26

Jesus, I trust in you.

Prayer of Intent

I was reading some more of this great book, Saints to Lean on: Spiritual Companions for Illness and Disability by Janice McGrane S.S.J. and just had to share some of what I read. I suggest you get a copy of this book for yourself, if you haven't already.

Prayer of intent That's the kind of prayer that seems to come most naturally for me. An inclination to offer up everything, small and big, to be one unending prayer. I often fail to bring this to mind though or I wonder if anything really does have any meaning - does this "offering up" really work? But still it is my intention, the intention of my heart seeking God and my desire to love. I think it is amazing to know that prayer does not have to be said, or expressed exactly, doesn't have to be mental or verbal to mean anything, it can be expressed through actions, through love. Of course too, God knows everything! He can understand what we are trying to say, without the need for words or it all being dependent on our ability to focus. It's not about our "power" either, it's about His power, for we aren't the ones who make things happen, God does. Often times you or I might fail at being able to pray, because of pain, sickness, mental strain, distress, fatigue... but all of it can be "offered up" and can always be a prayer. Of course, when we are able it is good to get in time for other kinds of prayer, but always remember that your very life can be a prayer. And I believe if we have a life of this prayer of intent, any other times we pray, no matter how long or short, will be a very deep, meaningful and grace-filled time.

Now on to some excerpts from the book. It comes from the chapter Caryll Houselander, Our Companion in Mental Illness. Part of it was written by Janice McGrane, and part of it quoting Caryll Houselander. I've never heard of this Caryll Houselander until I found out about her in this book. Wikipedia says she was a lay Roman Catholic ecclesiastical artist, mystic, popular religious writer and poet. She was born in 1901 and died in 1954 from cancer.

When we pray, we can let the pain of our lives be the very thing to connect us to Jesus. This is not always easy, but it definitely makes the suffering we go through in life have meaning.

In one letter to a young friend who was dealing with an eating disorder, Caryll advised: Let every meal be a prayer, every hour of sleep, every denial of an impulse to overdo things you feel a compulsion to - and believe me, you will at one and the same time cure yourself and cure the sufferings of the world. 

Rather than stressing mental or verbal prayer, both of which require the ability to concentrate for a length of time, Caryll wisely advised her devoted correspondents of the value of the prayer of intent: "You should 'pray without ceasing' - but not verbal prayer, not mental prayer, but the prayer of the body and the prayer of acceptance and immolation. Say only one prayer a day; the morning offering... is ideal.
Then let your prayer to be simply your offering of yourself to do God's will, to rest and relax in him and to offer everything you do as a prayer.

Wise spiritual advice for anyone - to offer once's whole self - every action, struggle, physical or emotional pain, indeed, every single breath to God. Then you are sure that you are in communion with God in every moment of every day. 

Like Thérèse de Lisieux, a saint for whom she had great respect, Caryll Houselander was aware of the tremendous spiritual power inherent in even the most mundane actions of daily life. 

When we are conscious of God's great love for us, then we know that the pains and joys we experience each day are cared about deeply. And Jesus smiles with joy when we give over our sufferings, both the great and the small, to be united with his for "healing the wounds of the world." 

I think the idea to say a morning prayer is a good one, especially on days where you may not be feeling so well, and all you can do is just that. Here is my favorite, which I try to say often.

Good morning dear Jesus, my Savior, 

Good morning dear Mary, my Queen, 

Good morning bright Angels, fair sentinels 

Of Jesus who dwells here unseen, 

Dear Lord, I bring you red roses 

All wet with the dew of your grace. 

Every thought, every word, every action 

And my heart I give for their vase. 

This offering I make through your mother 

Whose heart is so sinlessly white, 

Whiter than wings of the angels 

Who watched and prayed here all night. 

One favor, sweet Jesus, I ask of you, 

Inflame my poor heart with your love 

So while I toil in this valley 

My spirit may dwell far above.

Amen.

One must not think that a person who is suffering is not praying. He is offering up his sufferings to God, and many a time he is praying much more truly than one who goes away by himself and meditates his head off, and, if he has squeezed out a few tears, thinks that is prayer. -St. Teresa of Avila

Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words. -Romans 8:26

Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. -Romans 12:12

Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love undying. -Ephesians 6:24

Making cards for hospitalized kids

I started to make cards for hospitalized kids back in December 2012 when I found out about the organization cards for hospitalized kids. It was started by a teen girl with a chronic condition who has undergone many surgeries. One day, while at the hospital someone gave her a handmade card which made her feel good and so she wanted to start making cards for others too. Now anyone can join in by making cards and sending them in, and they will distribute them all over the USA. See their website for more info! (Unfortunately, religious themes for the cards are not allowed)
It's nice to have this opportunity to do something for others and be involved from home. And although I am not a great artist, it doesn't take a lot of talent to put a smile on someone's face, to brighten up their day and remind them that they are worth something, they can be strong and are not alone. Sometimes the most simple things in life, are the most beautiful and meaningful.
I've made cards for Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, Spring, and for any time. For this year, I almost did not start making any because of everything going on with me lately and then wanting any distraction from life that I can get rather than working on any project like this.... but I can't let anything stop me. I'm feeling more better at the moment, and with that time I've been given, I should and can do this. It makes a difference and it's making better use of my time too, instead of being glued to a computer game like I have been recently or doing anything solely for my own pleasure. I've decided I need to give up spending that excessive amount of time on the sims game, for the remainder of Lent at least, and do something more. So much time wasted on things that don't really matter! I hate when that happens. We need to make more efforts to stay focused on God and others, not just ourselves, even in our struggles. Our struggles are never just about us, but about others. Perhaps if you are able, you would like to get involved in doing this too?

There is always a way

O Sacrament Most Holy,

O Sacrament Divine,

all praise and all thanksgiving

be every moment Thine.

There is always a way to grow closer to God and fulfill the desires of our heart, even if it's not exactly how we want it to be.

When I started a 'prayer time' this morning, I began to think that it would be a good blog post if I wrote about it. Some idea of what I could write was coming to me, and maybe I should have welcomed that distraction, because now I am finding it harder to remember what I was thinking about. This week I began to try to set aside some time each day for prayer. Something I often try to do and fail at. Weeks, and months can go by before I try again sometimes, and here I am again. I know I need more perseverance and determination not to give up, and give all that I have even if it's nothing at all. I need to keep my mind and heart, as much as I can, focused on God. I believe a big part of my struggle too is not having the sacraments. I always try to watch the Mass on EWTN, but that just isn't the same as a real Mass, and definitely not the same as if I were able to receive communion. Whenever I have received communion in the past, it's as if nothing happened. But when I am without it, then I can sense a bit of what I am missing and my spiritual life seems to fail more. I am still trying to figure out that situation. (If you are in a similar situation, you can always ask a priest to come visit you for confession and have someone bring you communion.)

At the end of February, I went to church to spend time in adoration for nearly 3 hours. I had plans of going every week. But after that one time, I have not been back yet. Something always seems to happen to get in the way when I make more efforts to get to church. This time I was in severe pain for a week and in the hospital for a day, and then the next week I struggled with sleeping and had other problems, the next week I've been sick with a cold and struggling more with my daily issues. I am going to keep going back to adoration, but I have to realize if I can't go every week, it's okay. I will not give it up completely though (the "easy" thing to do would be to forget it again), I just need to go when I am able. It is disappointing though, when I so much would rather be there every week when Eucharistic adoration is available, for at least a few hours at a time!

A few times in the past, I've visited savior.org for adoration. Today I thought, why not do that again.

When I first heard about this years ago, I thought it wasn't such a good thing, but I see it differently now. It really is a wonderful opportunity for someone to spend time in adoration when they are not able to get to a church. It might be on a screen, but He is still completely there, and with you and me, no matter where we are, and being able to at least see the blessed sacrament, who is Jesus truly present - body, blood, soul, and divinity - is better than nothing. God also knows our hearts and our desires if that is what we really wish to be doing, we can still spend time with Him at home.

I got out my phone and went to savior.org, and had the blessed sacrament right there, in my room. if you don't have a cellphone, tablet or any other thing like it, and aren't able to use the computer, you can at least remember that He is always with us anyways, and think about and imagine the closest church to where you are. We really aren't that far away from Him.

If you want to do something, but you seem to be incapable of doing it, don't let that stop you. There's always a way.

I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh. -John 6:51

One must not think that a person who is suffering is not praying. He is offering up his sufferings to God, and many a time he is praying much more truly than one who goes away by himself and meditates his head off, and, if he has squeezed out a few tears, thinks that is prayer. -St. Teresa of Avila

When you look at the crucifix, you understand how much Jesus loved you. When you look at the Sacred Host you understand how much Jesus loves you now. -Mother Teresa of Calcutta

O Jesus! on this day, you have fulfilled all my desires. From now on, near the Eucharist, I shall be able To sacrifice myself in silence, to wait for Heaven in peace. Keeping myself open to the rays of the Divine Host, In this furnace of love, I shall be consumed, And like a seraphim, Lord, I shall love You. -St. Therese of Lisieux

A thousand years of enjoying human glory is not worth even an hour spent sweetly communing with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. -St. Padre Pio

The time you spend with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is the best time that you will spend on earth. Each moment that you spend with Jesus will deepen your union with Him and make your soul everlastingly more glorious and beautiful in heaven, and will help bring about an everlasting peace on earth. -Mother Teresa of Calcutta